


Sanctuary

by Cat_Moon



Series: Half Breed [9]
Category: Moonlight (TV)
Genre: F/M, Religious Content, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-31
Updated: 2013-08-31
Packaged: 2017-12-25 05:39:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/949263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Moon/pseuds/Cat_Moon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unusual case for Mick brings up the deeper questions of existence, and a religion he thought he left behind forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sanctuary

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of the series, "Half Breed." As such, it's a good idea to read them in order. One follows from the other in what happens; they aren't stand-alone stories.
> 
> This chapter contains religious concepts and ideas, may be controversial for some. If you are easily offended, please don't read. I am Christian myself, but I respect everyone's beliefs. That being said, I've had no negative comments yet, it's been one of the reader's favorites.

"Given the complex history of religion and vampires, a church is not where you'd expect a vamp to find sanctuary." --Mick St. John, 12:04AM

 

_Most vampires tend to be atheists. I guess it's either that or accept the fact that you've done something, committed some sin so grievous that it damned you for all eternity. When you live forever, heaven doesn't seem to be an option. Do those of us who are killed get redemption? Maybe the vamp life is some kind of odd purgatory. I thought I'd lost my soul when Coraline turned me. Lately… since Beth, I've had to do some serious re-evaluating._

_Mostly though, I just try not to think about it at all._

 

XXX

 

Mick eyed his friend across the desk. "You know, it occurs to me that you have a lot of nerve."

"You mean like, big cojones?" Josef said with an irrepressible grin. "This is news?"

"I mean, you come to me asking for my help, knowing I'm still mad at you for lying to me."

"We're vampires, it's what we do."

"That's a bit offensive." When it came down to it though, Mick had trouble staying angry with Josef. Considering how much he'd lied to Beth (lies of omission counted too, he figured), and with her being so accepting of it all. In her name, he'd let it pass.

"Besides, you forgive me. And this is for the vampire solidarity, not for me."

"Not so sure about that. Could just be Josef paranoia again. Okay, what's the case?"

"I've been hearing these disturbing stories… About a human preacher who ministers to vampires." Mick's eyebrows rose. "I see you're intrigued. So was I, but not in a good way. I want you to check him out, find out what he's up to and why he's so fascinated with us. Like there's not enough human sinners to keep 'em all busy," Josef pronounced disgustedly.

"You're thinking maybe he performs baptism by fire, to save our immortal souls?"

"Given our past relationship with the clergy, that wouldn't be beyond the realm of possibility, now would it? We've always had to deal with the religious freaks out to 'save us.'"

_But as I got the rest of the details from Josef, I couldn't help wondering… what if they're right?_

 

XXX

 

Beth's V/O:

 

_Sometimes life is like a roller coaster. You're on a wild ride. You can't see the crazy turns coming, but you know they're ahead, all you can do is hang on tight and get through them one at a time. But even through the motion sickness, and the terrifying speeds, you feel a thrill down deep in your quivering belly, and your eyes are bright with excitement. When the ride finally stops, your knees wobble and you're dizzy, but exhilarated, tingly all over and feeling alive like you've never felt before. You stagger back to the beginning of the line, anxious to experience the whole thing over again. That's my life, these past few whirlwind months. And I wouldn't trade it for anything._

Beth stared at her full coffee cup disgustedly, fighting down another round of nausea. She was tired and irritable, seeing as how she didn't seem to be friends with coffee these days. Coffee withdrawal was not a pretty sight.

Maureen came by and seeing her distress, stopped at the desk. "You okay, sweetie?"

Beth shook her head. "Still fighting that stomach bug. " She pushed the cup aside.

Her boss gave her a speculating gaze. "You know… when my sister was pregnant, she couldn't stand even the smell of coffee."

Beth stared at her. "Mo! I'm not pregnant," she said firmly.

"I'm just saying. Throwing up in the morning, sensitivity to certain foods…" She patted Beth on the shoulder, and tapped the picture of Mick that sat at the corner of Beth's desk as she passed.

Mo's words rang in her ears, and with growing alarm Beth started adding things up: stupid – she'd never considered the possibility, vampire, it was a given that this wasn't going to happen… but it did, that's how she'd come into the world herself. Vamp father/human mother. For all she knew, it was easier for an HB. With Josh of course they'd used birth control; her and Mick had happened so fast she just hadn't even thought of it. She wasn't on the pill; due to her mother's death from cancer and several other risk factors in her family, she'd made the decision to use other forms of birth control. Now…

Her hand flew to her mouth as it sunk in. With shaky hands, she picked up the phone and dialed her doctor to make an appointment. No sense putting it off, she had to know, but she wasn't trusting this to a home test. Besides, she really was feeling poorly lately, so an exam was a good idea. Mick had actually been bugging her about it, mother hen that he was.

She was in luck, a last minute cancellation for that afternoon meant she didn't have to wait. She took it.

 

XXX

 

Beth was back at work later when the phone rang. It was Mick.

"Hey, where've you been? I've been trying to reach you."

He'd know something was up anyway. So, a half truth, for now. "At the doctors. Getting checked out for that bug I've had."

"Good," he said in an approving voice. "What'd he say?"

"It's going around. But I had a bunch of tests, you know, make sure everything's okay. What's up?"

"Just wondering if you wanted to join me on a case – but before you say yes, you should know there's upwards of a 99% chance there's no possibility of a story out of it."

"Then why call me?" she said with smile, knowing the answer.

"We're a good team. Besides, having the 'human' perspective is always a help. I think you'll find it very interesting."

"Okay, where and when?" Like always, the prospect of working with Mick had fired up her excitement immediately.

"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes."

 

XXX

 

"So what's the case?" Beth asked, after collecting her 'hello' kiss and hopping in Mick's car.

"Josef is all up in the air about some minister, who supposedly counsels vampires."

"Sounds controversial," she noted.

"He's worried this guy may be a Van Helsing type."

Beth's eyes widened. "I'm glad you called me to come with you."

These days she was nearly as protective of him as he was of her. He smiled and reached over to squeeze her hand.

"We've never discussed the religion thing," she began.

"Everyone knows two subjects people shouldn't ever discuss," Mick cut in. "Politics and religion."

"Yeah," she agreed,"much better to stick with safe subjects: like vampires, and stalking, and crazy ex-wives, and obsessions…"

"Do we talk about those?"

"As little as possible," she admitted.

"We're psychically connected; we don't have to use words."

She shook her head with a wry grin, and then pinched him, hard, in the arm. "Wise ass."

 _That's how much you know_ , she thought to herself. _Just because we can sense each other's feelings doesn't mean we can't keep things from each other. Thankfully._ She didn't want to bring up the subject of her pregnancy test with him till she had the results. For several reasons. For one thing, she needed time to come to terms with it herself. The idea of being a mother was just about as far from her mind as the idea of getting married had been – but look, she was engaged now, too. One of the issues she's used with Josh when they broke up was that they wanted different things, he wanted a wife and kids, she had no desire to go there yet. She'd never considered those things an issue with Mick. She supposed she should have seen it coming though. These were the major things he felt robbed of by Coraline, the things he mourned. Seems like she couldn't say no to Mick, she'd do anything to make him happy. If anyone deserved happiness it was Mick St. John. It had become her mission in life to make that happen. Funny how different things looked when it was the person you were in love with. If she'd ever doubted what she felt for Josh hadn't been real love, now it was abundantly obvious.

 

XXX

 

The Church of Sanctuary was a simple store-front in downtown L.A., but inside had been tastefully and reverently decorated with familiar objects to the believers. A cross held a prominent place on the wall. A table full of bibles, free to worshippers, sat to the far side. Rows of plastic chairs substituted for pews. Reverend Robert Autun had done the best he could with what he had.

As they entered and found themselves seats in the back, Mick noted the presence of both human and vampire, but mostly vamp. That surprised him. There were about twenty people total. These were evening services, obviously geared towards those who walk the night.

"At least tell me what religion you were," Beth whispered to him, "It might be relevant to the case."

"You had a problem with talking in church as a child too, didn't you?" he whispered back, her blush told him he was right. "Catholic."

She refrained from whistling. That explained a lot of things…

The Reverend was just finishing up his services. "And let us never forget the most important thing we should take from the teachings of Jesus: love. Love everyone as ourselves, and love ourselves in respect to He who gives us life… and death. We are all doing His work, whether we know it or not. Everything that happens is in accordance with His will. Everything. Believe that. Jesus turns no one away, not lepers, nor prostitutes, nor the undead."

Pretty words. Mick wondered if the Reverend believed them. It was certainly a radical departure from the traditional church opinion of vampires.

"On that note, let us pray… Father, help us to understand our purpose in this life, and help us bear our burdens and turn them into gifts in Your honor. Lift us up from our misery and pain. Help us resist temptation, and live our lives as example to others of what God's love can do. In Jesus name we pray, Amen."

"Amen," the congregation echoed.

"That concludes our services for tonight. Peace be with you all."

The people began filing out, some of them staying to speak briefly with Autun. Mick and Beth waited patiently for everyone to leave. When the church was finally empty, they approached him themselves.

"Reverend Autun. May we speak with you?" Mick asked.

"Of course," he said, looking them over speculatively. "I don't turn anyone away either."

"Yeah, that's the part that interests me," Mick said. "About not turning anyone away…"

Mick could sense the preacher's nervousness. "It would help if you told me who sent you." Obviously this guy had some sort of code set up with his vampire flock. The guy was careful – not careful enough, though.

"You don't know him. But we're here to talk about the others you say Jesus doesn't turn away. The undead."

"What do you know of them?" Autun countered.

"Oh for god's sake," Beth cut in annoyed, interrupting their poor attempt at cloak and dagger. "We know you run a church for vampires. We just want to talk to you about that."

They both looked at her.

"Is one of you…?" Autun began.

"Yes one of us is, and one of us isn't. It doesn't matter which is which," Mick told him.

"I'm sorry; you have to understand my need to be careful. The secret must stay safe, for the protection of my parishoners. "

"There are some people who think the best way to save the soul of a vampire is to destroy them," Mick said.

The Reverend's expression took a hard edge. "I don't believe in destroying anything that God created, I generally don't meddle in God's plans. I'm just a human, a sinner whose job is to accept His will."

"You don't actually believe God created vampires?" Mick barked in disbelief.

 _Uh oh_ , Beth thought, _here's why people shouldn't discuss religion._ It was already getting heated, and they'd barely started. Good thing he had her along, indeed. Hanging with Mick she was becoming quite a skilled referee.

"I'm radical; I make no excuses for that. There are some who would see me stoned for those beliefs. Let me give you an extreme example of what I mean by everyone fulfilling God's mission. Judas. He's the man who turned Jesus in to the authorities, leading to his dying on the cross. But what if there was no Judas? He was necessary. He had to do what he did, in order that Jesus die, to fulfill the prophesy and save us all. I don't condone evil, but I accept the place it has in our world."

"You're not saying all vampires are evil, are you?" Beth asked.

"That's how many people perceive them, including themselves. No, it's not my personal opinion. I believe our task in life is to take what's been given to us, our lot in life if you wish, and make something good of it. Look for ways to praise Him with our lives no matter what they are."

"Hmm." Mick muttered, clearly not very convinced. "So you preach the Word to vampires, so you can help them, what's the phrase, accept Jesus and get born again? Does it make them human again, does Jesus heal them too?" he almost spat, angrily.

"You must be the vampire," Autun noted with a gentle smile. "I've seen the self-condemnation before. Many people feel they have no need for spirituality in their lives. Whether I personally believe in that or not, I respect their wishes. I'm not here to force anyone to believe the way I do. It's not my job to convert people, just to plant a seed. I'm not the one who does the converting – that's up to a higher authority. However, others are in need of the comfort and acceptance Jesus can bring. That's who I'm here to serve."

"You minister to the outcasts that other churches wouldn't accept?" Beth concluded. "Like gays and lesbians who are often rejected by their church, that can find gay-friendly houses of worship."

He nodded. "Jesus is the ultimate lover of outcasts, isn't he? How can I do any less?"

Mick was looking slightly mollified. "So that's all you're here to do. Talk to them about Jesus."

"Many vamps have the same questions you do. Am I damned? Do I still have a soul? Will I go to hell if I'm ever killed? Especially for the ones who were religious as human, it can be devastating. My own personal theory is that's why so many of them turn amoral. When society brands you as something, in this case, inhuman damned, it's very easy to start believing that about yourself. When you believe it, you start acting it. But I've seen too many good, decent vampires to believe that myself."

"Someone in particular?" Mick queried, realizing the Rev's feeling ran too deep over this issue, it had to be personal.

"It would help if I knew who I was talking to," Autun answered with another smile.

"Mick St. John. I'm a private investigator, hired to make sure you aren't sacrificing vampires to your god." He gestured to Beth,"this is—"

"I'm Beth Turner," she cut in, holding out her hand to shake. "Mick's fiancée." She felt adding a personal touch would help smooth things.

"Saint John? You're a private detective?" Autun asked. His eyes had lit up, almost as if he were near tears. "Praise Jesus," he breathed, as Beth and Mick traded puzzled looks. "It's a miracle!"

"Excuse me?" Mick said.

"I'm sorry, you don't understand. You're a vampire PI. You've been sent to me, it's an answer to my prayers. You can help me find my brother. He's a vampire, and he's been missing for two months."

Pete! The name burst involuntarily into Mick's mind. He rubbed a hand over his face to compose himself. A quick glance at Beth told him she's made the same connection as well.

"Oh my god," Beth couldn't help murmur. During the late 70's/early 80's Mick had played in a rock band, The Nighttrollers. Their bassist, Pete, had a brother who was a vampire and had gone missing. Pete died in a bar fight, never knowing if his brother was okay or not. Later, the brother had come after Mick for revenge, blaming him for Pete's death. This case with its missing vampire brother, touching so close to the regret he held about what had happened back then, could help Mick make amends for that. To get peace.

Rev. Autun took Beth's shoulders gently, still overcome with emotion. "You see how God works?" he said emphatically.

"I thought it was just destiny, fate. Coincidence."

Autun laughed delightedly. "Now you see the truth about just whose hand it really is in our lives! Coincidence has a name, my child."

"Okay, calm down there, don't go prostrate on us." Mick cut in, obviously still a skeptic, unwilling to be carried away by emotions that flew in the face of logic.

"But you'll help me find my brother?"

Mick nodded, almost reluctantly. "We'll help you."

"And maybe I can help you, as well."

 

XXX

 

"You know," Beth said speculatively, after they'd gotten all the information from Autun, and driven away from the church. "It occurs to me that since we need someone to marry us, and Rev. Autun is a vamp-friendly minister…" He would be the perfect choice.

"Can we not do this now?" Mick said, feeling like he was about to get a huge headache, except for the fact vamps didn't get headaches. He'd had more than he could take of religion for one day. It all still had him reeling, although he didn't want to admit to it.

"It's okay to believe," she whispered, taking his hand and holding it tightly.

"In what, religion?"

"No. In happiness."

He sighed, resigned to discussing it. "When you've lived with misery for over fifty years, it's a hard habit to break." They were quiet for the next few minutes, until he'd pulled into the garage of his building and parked.

As soon as the engine was off, Beth knelt on the seat, getting as close to him as she could without sitting in his lap. "Well, I don't think you're gonna get a choice, the universe is forcing happiness on you whether you like it or not."

His arms went around her, hands unable to help themselves from sliding under her ass. "It's just…religion, it's a touchy subject with me," he admitted.

"No shit," she snorted, nuzzling at his neck, getting a surprised chuckle out of him.

"We're in a public parking garage," he told her, feeling her roaming hands scorch him straight through his clothing.

"Then we'd better get upstairs," she answered. "Because I have an overwhelming desire to make love with my man, and I'll do it right here if I have to."

"You scandalize me," he told her. Then, taking advantage of his superior vamp-speed, picked her up and whisked her upstairs to the apartment, basking in her delighted laughter the whole way.

 

XXX

 

Maybe there was salvation for Mick St. John. Making love with Beth it was inevitable those kind of thoughts would come up. Yes, he felt vampy at times when the passion overwhelmed him, and there had even been a few times fangs were used. But he'd been expecting so much worse. Somehow, being with Beth, he felt and acted so much like a man, less like a vampire. What miracle was this she brought to his life?

"Penny for your thoughts?" she said, her hands caressing his bare chest as they lay together in bed afterwards.

He cupped her face in his hands. "Just wondering what miracle brought you to me," he admitted.

"Ah, so you do believe."

"Not like I have a choice," he answered, kissing her.

 

XXX

 

_Yeah, I know I did it again. Having unprotected sex with Mick again, while still worried if I'm pregnant and not certain I'm happy about the prospect. Looks like everything else in our lives, it will be up to fate. Obviously I can't start asking him to use birth control suddenly without starting a discussion I don't want to have yet. And forget resisting him: not gonna work, not an option. Guess maybe the answer to my dilemma comes quicker and easier than I expected. I could have gotten a 'scrip for the pill -- its not like I have to be worried about getting a terminal illness anymore, now that I have…options for avoiding that sort of thing. Didn't think of that, either. Maybe it's just that Mick renders me unable to use my brain. Turns my brain cells to mush? But look at him -- can you blame me?!_

_We split up the next day, Mick checking out some contacts the Reverend had given him, friends of Daniel Autun, places he frequented, things like that. I went to Buzzwire and began research to see if I could get any clues to his whereabouts. Autun wasn't a common name, surely I'd be able to find something. I felt a little guilty pretending to Maureen that I had a possible lead on a story, but I hoped something would come of it I could use, as it so often did. If my luck held…_

 

XXX

 

Mick's first stop of the day was to make his report to Josef.

"You're sure he's on the up and up?" Josef asked, a bit skeptically.

"Yes, Mr. Paranoia. From everything I've gotten, he honestly believes in what he preaches, and is trying to help vampires find spiritual peace."

"Just when you think you've lived so long nothing can surprise you…"

"Yeah, uh, speaking of surprises—or not. I've got something I need to ask you."

"Okay," he said a bit guarded.

Mick reached in his pocket, taking out the jewelry box with ring he bought for Beth and passed it over.

When Josef opened the box, his eyes widened. "Why Mick, this is so sudden," he quipped. "I never expected a proposal, but shouldn't you be on one knee?"

Mick threw a pillow from the chair at him. "Ha ha. I bought it for Beth. I wanted to ask you if you… if you'd… be my best man," he finally managed to get out.

"Wow. You're really going for the whole thing, aren't you," Josef observed quietly.

"You know me. Wasn't it inevitable?"

"I'd be honored to be your best man," Josef said, and from emotion in his voice it was obvious he really meant it. He tossed the pillow back at Mick. "Does it mean I get to throw you a bachelor party?" he asked with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

And Mick uttered a word he rarely used anymore, but sometimes it was just the only one that fit. "Oh, God…"

 

XXX

 

Beth tapped her pencil against the desk, deep in thought. She'd managed to track Daniel to New Jersey, there the trail had stopped. That was the last time he'd used his Visa card. Daniel Autun disappeared off the face of the earth after that. _He has to be somewhere._ Tap tap tap. _What if he's using an assumed name? People in hiding usually do. Does that make it impossible to trace him?_ Tap tap tap. _Vampires change their names often through the decades, as they move from place to place, but from what I've seen they usually keep their names fairly close to the original._ Tap tap tap. _Josef Konstintin/Konstan. Mick St. John/Micky Johns. Aldo Turner/Tillerman._

"That's it!" she exclaimed loudly to herself, ignoring the looks she got from others in the office. She snatched up the phone, punching in a number and waiting impatient for an answer. Finally, the call was answered. "Hey Josef, it's Beth. I'm helping Mick on the case you hired him for. I need to speak to Ryder." There was a computer expert at Buzz Wire, but she didn't want to involve anyone there, since there was so far no "cover case". Being about a missing vampire, better to keep it in the community.

"Ryder? It's Beth Turner. Yeah, the one with the sexy voice. I need you to do something for me…"

 

XXX

 

Mick was frustrated. He was getting nowhere. No one had seen Daniel in weeks, it seemed the man hadn't been anywhere or contacted anyone he knew. So he was grateful to get the call from Beth, saying she'd found something and would meet him at his office. She'd sounded excited, but wouldn't say anything more over the phone.

When he let himself into the office, Beth was sitting at the desk, leaning back to look up at him. _Damn she looks good, sitting behind my desk_. Had to admit, he liked her there. How he loved having this woman in his life...

"I found him!" she crowed.

One eyebrow rose. "Mr. St. John, you've changed! Are you doing something different with your hair, perhaps?" He pulled her out of the chair and sat down himself, but before she could go far he pulled her down onto his lap, his arms securely around her. "You're kidding, you really found him already?"

She began telling him the story, obviously pleased with herself. "He took a flight from LAX to EWR, that's the last of Daniel Autun anywhere."

"EWR?"

"Newark airport, New Jersey. From there he dropped out of sight. However, I realized that vampires seem to have a habit of keeping a variation of their names, so I talked to Ryder."

"So, now you're just using all my contacts too," he teased, enjoying her excitement.

"Hey, you asked me to help you on this case. So anyway, I had him do a computer search using all possible variations on the name Daniel Autun, focusing on New Jersey, to start. We found a Dan Alton in a hotel in downtown Newark. He checked in the same day the flight landed, and it looks like he's still there."

"Feel like a trip to beautiful downtown Newark?" he asked as they both got up.

"Absolutely. Will you call the reverend and tell him?"

"Not yet, wait till we talk to Daniel and find out what's going on." Beth nodded in understanding. "You're gonna make a great PI someday," he told her, patting her on the cheek as he passed her on the way into the apartment.

She stared after him, please, delighted, and amazed. Someday? PI? Was it just a joke, or could that be a hint of his changing attitude about their future? She knew she wouldn't be able to be a reporter, especially in front of the camera, forever. While she loved being a reporter, as long as she got her Pulitzer before, she was looking forward to her new life with Mick. Being a PI was just as exciting.

She glanced at the frosted glass of the office door as she left to get ready for the trip, imagining a slight change in the words...

_St. John and St. John_

_Private Investigators_

She shook off the flight of fancy, and forced her mind back to the job at hand. _Newark here we come._

 

XXX

 

Their flight was uneventful, and before long they were in a cab on the way to the hotel, Grand Broad Hotel, was its proud name. It was off Broad Street, near Penn Station, and was a typical, cheap, flea bag hotel.

Stepping inside, Beth wrinkled her nose at the smell that assaulted it, wondering what Mick must have to deal with, with his acute senses.

Mick stepped up to the desk, addressing the totally disinterested looking clerk. "We're looking for Dan Alton; we'd like to know what room he's in please?" His gaze hardened a bit, not liking the way the clerk was eying Beth appreciatively.

"Sorry, can't give out room numbers. You could call him." He paused for dramatic effect. "'Cept we don't have any phones in the rooms."

Mick casually slid a fifty dollar bill towards the guy. "I'm sorry; I must have been speaking too low. We'd like to know what room Dan Alton is in, please."

"101. Up the stairs and all the way in the back."

"He doesn't care why we're here for Dan, does he?" Beth asked disgustedly, as they made their way up the stairs.

"Don't ask don't tell is not just for the military, you know."

As they approached the door to 101, Mick motioned for her to stay back and quiet, as he listened. After a moment he gave a nod, and tried the handle, expecting to have to pick the lock, but finding it wasn't locked. They moved cautiously inside.

Daniel lay on the dingy bed in the rundown room. Mick's brow furrowed as he took in the scene with his senses, realizing with alarm what was going on.

Even Beth seemed to tell Daniel was in bad shape. "What's wrong with—"she started to say, but Mick shushed her, and pulled her out the door into the hall again.

"You need to leave."

"But what's—" she started to say again, but subsided at the look he gave her.

"Now," he emphasized, practically dragging her all the way downstairs and outside onto the sidewalk.

"Okay Mick, what's going on?"

He swallowed, and looked away a moment. "He hasn't fed in… a couple of days."

"How long can vampires go without?" she asked, realizing how much she still had to learn about them.

"Under normal circumstances, maybe four days, depending. Can't really say since it's rare to get that far. A vampire that hasn't fed in that long is very dangerous. There's almost no control in that condition."

"So why didn't he…you know, get something?"

Mick closed his eyes, remembering what he'd felt in that room. Despair, shame, guilt. All things he knew intimately himself. "How could he be so stupid," Mick began, not answering her question directly. "You want to end it, you have someone chop off your head, or jump into a fire or something. This is not the way."

Beth's eyes widened in shock at the realization of what Mick was saying. It was an attempted suicide. She glanced back at the motel, then back to Mick. "Can you help him?"

He seemed to brace himself for something, and then took Beth firmly by the shoulders. "There's a Hilton over at Penn Station. I want you to go there and wait for me."

"Hell, no," she said vehemently. "You know better than to try and send me away."

He shook his head. "I'm serious here, Beth. Daniel is not me, and I don't know him. I want you safe, and I want you away from here. This is not negotiable."

"If I said no?" she asked, curious.

"We both leave right now, and get on a plane home."

Wow. He'd let Daniel die – or worse, be a danger to humans and the vampire secret. That told her how serious Mick was. She put a hand on his arm. "Okay, but there is a condition. I want you to tell me exactly what you're going to do after I'm gone."

Mick looked away to avoid meeting her eyes. _Bingo_. So it wasn't just about her being in danger from a hungry vampire. "Let it be," he whispered. "Please."

She physically turned his head back to face her. "I can't, just like you can't let me stay. I love you, Mick. I want to know, and you need to tell me."

"He needs blood," Mick began as if the words were being forced out of him. "Every second goes by he's a danger to himself and others." She nodded to let him know she understood. "I don't have contacts in this city," he explained desperately. "I can't just walk into the morgue and buy some blood, and I wouldn't even know where to find a willing freshie."

"Oh." She was beginning to see where this was going, and why he didn't want to tell her.

"Yeah, oh," he spat angrily.

She reached up again and cradled his face, forcing him to look at her and held his gaze calmly. "And where do you think you'll get this blood?"

The anguish in his expression almost broke her heart. She knew he desperately wanted to look away, but she refused to let him. "I was thinking I'd find," he cleared his throat, "they've got a big problem with crime here, shouldn't be too hard to find an… unwilling donor that could save someone for a change instead of killing."

"Will he be killed?" she asked in the same level tone.

"No! I… there's always risk involved in these circumstances, but—"

"But you'll do everything you _humanly_ can to make sure that doesn't happen," she finished for him.

He tried to shake his head but she was holding it steady. "Or I could just help Daniel finish what he's trying to do."

"No. He needs help, and he deserves a chance. You can't kill him without a good reason." And that would be almost a repeat of Pete and his brother again. She also knew not to even offer her own blood.

Somehow she knew he couldn't let another vamp touch her now, even if he was willing to take the risk. "This is the only way," she concluded practically. "You have to do it." He looked at her a little helplessly, as she pulled his head down and kissed a tear from his cheek.

He grabbed her and hugged her so hard she was starting to worry about ribs. Then kissed her just as hard.

"You be careful!" she demanded when they broke apart, resting her hand on his chest. "And call me as soon as you can, so I can stop worrying."

He found a grin. "Anything else, boss?"

"Yeah. I love you."

"I love you," he told her.

 

XXX

 

To Mick's relief, it didn't take long to find what he was looking for. He ducked into the alley behind the hotel, staying in the shadows and keeping his ears and eyes open. He saw two gang members sitting on a fire escape, one bragging about a killing he'd made the night before. Mick could still smell the dead man's blood on him, must have missed a spot when he cleaned up.

_Are predators who prey on other predators any better? Should my guilt really be assuaged now that I found a suitably "worthy" victim?_

Quicker than a flash, he had knocked out one, then grabbed the other's gun and stuck it in his ribs. It was disgustingly easy. He remembered now, that had always been the problem. How easy to prey on these fragile humans who thought they were invincible.

"You shut up and come with me, and you live."

The guy complied, but of course had a few choice comments about how his bros weren't gonna let Mick get away with this, etc. He had no idea what he was getting into, etc. Mick handcuffed the guy with his own cuffs. Nice of the banger to conveniently provide all the props he needed.

Mick took the fire escape back into the hotel, leading the gang member into Daniel's room.

"What the hell's going on here, man," the kid said when they were in the room. "I mean, it's no skin off my nose since you're a dead man and all, but I was just wonderin'."

"Funny you should mention that, because you're right, I am a dead man. So's he," Mick gestured to the man in the bed, who was starting to move around restlessly. "We need you to do us a favor."

"You're loco, man!"

"Probably," Mick agreed pleasantly. Then he grabbed the guy roughly, and forced him over to the bed. Ripping up his sleeve, he held the arm close to Daniel's mouth.

"What the hell are you—" words trailed off as the vampire, having smelled the fresh blood, starting coming to consciousness, still very out of it. Fangs extended involuntarily.

The kid started struggling but Mick held him firm. "Do as I say, and you will get out of this alive," Mick hissed at him.

"I know what you are," the kid spat. "Vampires!" If Mick was impressed by how fast he caught on, the next words chilled him instead. "We know what you are. Me and the boys already did a few 'a you, and we'll finish the rest too."

_What the hell?_

Then Daniel finally took the bait and sunk his teeth in. The banger's words dried up after a very un-gang like squeak. Daniel still wasn't really conscious yet, his actions mostly instinctive.

The waiting was the longest Mick had ever had to endure, but he forced himself to keep track of how much blood Daniel was taking. He'd never had to do this before, force feed a vamp. His thoughts turned to remembering the woman Coraline had brought to him that first time. Innocent, scared to death… And Mick had fed. He could still feel her terror, the beginning of his damnation. Now here he was, doing almost the same thing. It sickened him, even if it was just a callous murderer. Who was he, to judge?

The gang member was swearing at him steadily, threatening all sorts of things. Mick let Daniel take more than the Red Cross would have; he figured it might be a good idea if the kid was a bit weak afterward.

"Daniel!" he began trying to reach the vampire. "Daniel Autun – your brother sent me. Robert!"

Dan looked up suddenly, blood trickling down from the corner of his mouth. "Bobby?" he asked in voice of returning sanity.

"Bobby sent me to find you," Mick agreed.

Abruptly taking in the scene with finally alert eyes, he wrenched himself away from the kid and scrambled to the head of bed. "What have you done!" he yelled at Mick. "How could you do this to me?!"

"Saving your life, you're welcome," Mick answered dryly.

"Vampy's signed his death warrant, that's what he did," the kid taunted.

"Did I ask you to?!" Daniel was still irate. "How could you damn me again?!"

"Don't worry, we're gonna send you all to hell!" the gang member said.

Daniel was yelling at Mick. The gang banger was yelling at Mick. And his cell phone started to ring; he knew it was Beth demanding to know what was happening.

"No good deed goes unpunished, does it?" Mick said to himself. Without preliminary he delivered a punch that knocked the gang banger out, just to keep him quiet for awhile. He needed to think. Then he turned to Autun. "Please shut up, or I'll stake you to shut you up!"

Daniel seemed a bit shocked, but did as told, just glaring at him. He was able to answer the phone. Beth began talking, but he interrupted before she barely started. "Yes, dear, I'm fine."

Nonplussed was the feeling that came through the phone. "What if it had been Josef?" she finally asked after a pause.

"You're not Josef!" he exclaimed as if expected it to be him.

"Very funny."

"Everything's fine, I'm fine, Daniel is fine, although he's not too please with me right now. But I'm really in the middle of something now, can I call you back?"

"In the middle of—what's going on now?"

Mick rubbed hand over face. "That's what I'm trying to figure out."

"I could be of help," she suggested hopefully. "In talking to Dan."

"If I need you, I'll call you. Just some loose ends to tie up, okay? Sit tight. Did you get a room?"

"Hell, yes. Suite 1204. And I ordered lobster from room service, and a really filthy pay-per-view to get me in the mood for when you come back. Oh, and did I mention I used your credit card?"

"Good thing I got rich off Josef's investments," he quipped right back. "Have _two_ lobsters." As he hung up he caught some words that were distinctly unladylike.

"She's coming over," he told Dan will the certainty of knowing Beth.

"Who?"

"My fiancée. "

"You're getting married?" Mick nodded. "Is she a—"

"Human."

Dan stared at him in shock. "And she knows?"

"She accepts me for what I am," he said by way of answer. "Do you know what a stupid stunt you pulled? Starvation is not a way of vampire suicide."

"No, it's not like that!" he denied. "I wasn't trying to starve myself."

"Then what the hell were you doing?" Mick demanded.

"I just wanted to… weaken myself. So that when…" he trailed off reluctantly.

"When what?!"

"When they came for me, I wouldn't be able to fight back," he nodded at the unconscious banger.

Mick followed his look. "You mean it's true? There's a street gang here preying on vampires? And you knew about it??"

"They're not going to tell our secret," he said tiredly. "They keep everyone's secrets, because they have so many of their own."

"So you were planning to let them kill you, and go on killing other vamps?"

Daniel shrugged. "What are our lives worth? We're not even really alive."

Mick was saved from having to answer by a groan from the unconscious banger. He hauled him up. "Okay, wakey, wakey." He slapped his face a couple of times to get him alert. "What's your name?"

"Carlos," the kid answered, still groggy.

"Nice to meet you, Carlos. I have just a couple of questions for you. What's your gang's name?"

"Nightwalkers." Then he shook it off and revived some. "And we're gonna—"

"I know, I know, "Mick cut him off, "kill us all. Tell you what, how about you tell me where your gang hangs out, and I won't kill you?"

The kid, getting cocky again, spit in his face.

"I asked you nicely." Mick let himself vamp out, baring his fangs and getting up close in the guy's face. He was glad to see fear finally surfacing – the effect doesn't work if they're not afraid of you. "You think it felt good, what he did to your arm, but it's gonna hurt like a mother when I rip your throat out, I promise," he growled. "You'll die slowly, and have lots of time to feel every trickle of your blood as it all drains out of your body. Unless I decide to drink it." He licked his lips.

"Fred's auto parts shop, fifth and Market," Carlos answered, finally losing his nerve.

"One more question, "the vamp said, tilting his head to the side. "Who are your arch enemies?"

"Doc Feelgood," Carlos answered quickly this time. "Their HQ is over near the airport, behind Scottie's Pawn Shop."

"You've been very helpful," Mick told him, and then choked him out, ripped a piece of the bed sheet off and gagged him with it. Then he trussed up his legs as well, and shoved him into the closet, pushing the chair against door to further keep him confined. They were about to have a visitor, and he wasn't taking any chances.

"What are you gonna do?" Daniel asked him.

Before Mick could answer, there was a soft knock at the door. He went and opened it, shaking his head at Beth.

"You don't seem surprised to see me," she noted.

"I'm not. Daniel, this is Beth," he introduced.

"Hi Daniel. I'm glad to see you feeling better."

"Uh, hi."

"So, did you tie up your lose ends?" she asked.

"Not quite yet. The uh, donor is tied up in there," he motioned to the closet.

"That's the loose end?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that. Seems we stumbled upon a street gang that knows about vampires and is out to exterminate us."

"Shit. What are you gonna do?" she asked, fearfully, probably worried he was planning to go after them all, single-handedly.

"I don't see any good way out of this. I was gonna sic their rival gang on them. Then call the police when they start to rumble. At least they'd be in jail for awhile."

"Yeah, but how long?" she asked.

"I can't kill them all."

"I didn't ask you to," she pointed out.

"I know some vamps here," Dan put in. "I could warn them, let them know what's going on. Let them handle it, it's their turf anyway."

"Oh, now you wanna help?" Mick asked disgustedly.

Beth was looking from one to the other confusedly. Mick answered her unspoken question. "He knew about them and didn't tell anybody. He was starving himself so he'd be weak enough that they could finish him off without too much of a fight."

"How could you do that?" she demanded.

"We're only—"

"Only vampires?" she said fiercely. She grabbed Mick's sleeve and pulled him closer. "This man is only a vampire. But he's the most caring, loving, wonderful person I've even known. I've known him 22 years, and he's devoted his life to helping others, to protecting people. He'd give his own life to save a woman or child in peril. He refuses to feed even from his own fiancée, he's spend the last twenty some years drinking blood from a bag. The idea of taking some murderous street thug to be an unwilling donor to save your life brought him to tears. If every human in this world were like him this would be a perfect place to live. So don't talk to me about "only vampires."

"We all make choices about how to behave in our lives. You can choose to be a bad vampire or a good one. Unless you're feral, which you're not, you can learn to control yourself."

Daniel was silent a moment. "Her name is Sharon," he finally whispered.

Didn't take a genius to figure out what was probably coming next. Beth found Mick's hand and held it.

"I used to tease her and call her 'My Sharona," you know like that stupid old song. She'd get mad and hit me on the arm… I loved her so much," he told them voice breaking. "So much I started to believe… to believe all that crap my brother was spouting about Jesus loving and forgiving even us. It gave me hope," he said it like it was a dirty word. "So I took a chance."

"You told her you were a vampire," Mick surmised.

"She, she freaked out on me. Said I was a horrible monster, and, and what I saw in her eyes – she was afraid of me. Told me I'd betrayed her, and destroyed her…" He looked Mick in the eye. "You're engaged to a human. So you know how it feels to love that much?"

He squeezed Beth's hand. "Yes," quietly. "It was my biggest fear. Still is, sometimes even now," he admitted, looking at her and knowing they were both thinking of the conversation outside the hotel earlier. He met Dan's eyes again with a naked honesty that was stunning in its intensity. "I've lived for Beth for the past twenty two years. She's the reason I'm here." He heard Beth's almost silent gasp but didn't look. "But I was wrong."

Huh? Beth stared at him.

"You need to find something inside yourself to live for. Don't you listen to any of those sermons your brother preaches? I know what you're going through more than anyone you may ever meet, so if you don't listen to anyone else, listen to me. You didn't see her horror of you in her eyes – you saw your own horror of yourself reflected back at you. Give yourself another chance. Go back, talk to Bobby. Let him counsel you, I have a feeling he'd pretty persuasive, if he knows exactly what he's dealing with. It's not gonna be easy, and it's gonna take a long time, but I believe it can be done. At least you had the courage to try. I never did."

Mick saw the question in Daniel's eyes. He glanced at Beth as he answered it. "I didn't tell her what I was, she found out on her own. There are other humans who know and accept us. Maybe Sharon wasn't the "one". Maybe there's someone else out there for you, a wonderful woman who will love you for who and what you are, and accept the bad with the good. You need to make the choice. To have hope. And faith in something bigger than us. Something even more 'top of the food chain' than vamps," he joked. Feeling Beth's stare grow even more amazed at his words, he kept his eyes on Dan.

"And, I don't want to give you false hope but I could maybe talk to Sharon," Beth offered. "Maybe she's just scared because she doesn't understand. You probably were too upset to explain things to her properly. It might help if she could talk to someone who's in a relationship with a vampire."

"You'd do that for me?" Dan asked incredulously.

"I'd be happy to," she answered. "And if nothing came of it, at least you'd have some closure, you'd be able to go on from there."

"Thank you."

"—Do you guys ever actually date other vampires, or do you all have a fascination with human women?" she couldn't help but ask them.

"Well, I can't speak for Daniel, but my one experience with that didn't turn out so well," Mick answered. "But I'm sure next time it'll be different." Before she could even form a response to that bomb he'd dropped (he really is teasing me), Mick changed the subject. "Okay, hate to break this up, but we've got a vampire killing street gang to deal with."

 

XXX

 

Their plan in place, Mick took Carlos back to the street where he found him, and dropped him off. He contacted the Doc Feelgoods, and told them the Nightwalkers were planning a big hit on them that very night, letting them know where to find the rival gang.

As expected, the Feelgoods chose to hit first. Once the vicious fight was in full swing (Beth getting some exclusive pix of the whole thing for a Buzz Wire story), they made an anonymous call to the police. As the cops rounded everyone up, Daniel advised his vampire friends in New Jersey of the threat in their midst. They'd done all they could do.

 

XXX

Mick and Beth finally arrived back at their suite. Dan was getting some rest at his hotel, and would return to L.A. with them the next day.

Mick shrugged out of his coat, exhausted, wishing the suite included a freezer. He took note of the room service cart still by the door, remains of a lobster abandoned. "Holy crap, you weren't kidding."

"You should know me better than that." She came to him and put her arms around him. "I won't leave next time," she told him. "It felt wrong."

"I know," he told her with a resigned sigh. He buried his face in her hair. "I love you more every day." At this point he was dismayed to notice he was leaning, her practically holding him up.

Beth noticed. "You need to get some rest," she said. "Are you okay? You haven't fed since before we left the apartment for our flight."

"I'll be fine," he said with a small, almost secretive smile. "What I really need now is a nice cold shower."

Mick had just stepped inside and was enjoying the icy drops on his skin when the curtain parted, and she joined him. "Beth, its cold!" he reminded her.

"Not so bad," she answered, drawing her arms around him and pressing close.

It reminded him of the time she was walking through that cold fountain, the first time she'd seen him since he'd saved her. Still, that was just a fountain. "Maybe being half vamp gives you a higher tolerance for the cold," he mused, but unobtrusively turned up the hot water a bit anyway.

"Maybe. Do you need to get clean?" she picked up the soap and began lathering up his body.

"I don't think this water's gonna stay cold very long," he observed, inching up the cold tap again. At this rate it would be steamy in no time. "Did you rent the dirty pay-per-view too?" he asked, pulling her wet body tight against his wet, soapy one.

"I said it was a filthy pay-per-view," she corrected, slipping her tongue in his ear.

"I stand corrected."

"You won't be standing for long," she promised.

"I'm scandalized again," he 'complained' with a grin.

"You're easily scandalized," she told him, sliding down his body to her goal.

Yes, he was. But he did manage to remain standing. Just barely.

 

XXX

 

Tucked in bed, Beth had the fluffy white bath robe provided by the hotel wrapped around her. Mick was naked except for the thin sheet over his lap. That was fine with Beth. They were channel surfing.

"Do you think Daniel will be okay?" she asked.

"Actually yeah, I do. Don't know why."

"Maybe it's faith."

"Maybe I see you talking your charm to Sharon and convincing her to give it a try."

She snuggled up to him. "I know you've got these parts of you you're afraid to let me see. You think you're a monster and I'm some kind of pure… I-don't-know-what. But maybe I've got secrets too," she admitted.

"You do, huh?" he said, trying not to make light of it but failing.

"I baited Coraline," she confessed. "I was hoping – no, I knew, if I found the right words she'd try something, and it would be self defense. I went there knowing one of us wasn't coming out alive, and I had reason to believe it would be her. So if you're a monster, I'm a murderer." There, she'd finally told him. It wasn't a secret she wanted to share, but maybe if he knew, he wouldn't see them as so different, stop putting her on that perfect pedestal.

Mick's arms tightened around her. He was silent for awhile, thinking. Lately, a lot of things required new thinking. "If she hadn't pulled a gun on you," he still didn't like talking about it, no matter how many times she insisted the Voice had told her it would turn out okay. "Would you have killed her in cold blood?"

She shook her head in the negative. "Doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does," he told her. "For both of us. We do what we have to do. You either accept it, live with it, or you don't do it. Right?" There were just some things the vampire community couldn't go to the police about. It wasn't an option. They had to have a way of policing themselves. Did that make him some kind of Judas? He didn't think so, because if so, why would he have been rewarded with the incredible woman he now held in his arms? He'd spent a lot of decades believing he was cursed. But the cursed don't earn the love of a lifetime.

"And they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks," she finally commented.

"Speaking of, I'm still waiting for you to show me some of that stuff you learned from the filthy movie," he responded, to lighten the mood.

"Are you sure you're up to it?" she asked, moving to straddle his lap playfully.

Mick let his grin at her choice of words develop slowly. "Up to it?" he asked with an arched brow, untying the belt of her robe to slip it off her shoulders. He plunged his hands into her hair, enjoying the feel of it sliding through his fingers. He pulled her down for a thorough kiss.

"You know," he said almost conversationally when they finally broke apart for a breather. "You weren't exactly truthful with Daniel when you told him I refused to drink from my fiancée. I wouldn't say I refused. I've taken a taste every now and then."

"I've lost more to a mosquito," she dismissed.

He tilted his head to the side. "That's pretty rude," he commented, trailing a finger down her neck.

Something about his tone, the way he was looking at her, was telling her something she wasn't sure she could actually believe. "Rude," she managed in a strangled voice.

"What if I told you I was going to make a liar out of you?"

Her mouth dropped open in pleased astonishment as she stared at him. Before she knew what was happening, he had their positions reversed, and she was beneath him. To her, his strange blue eyes weren't cold, they were on fire.

"What would you say?" he demanded.

"I'd say take me." It was the last thing she was able to say for a long time.

Despair, shame guilt.

Hope, faith, love. How three little words could change your world.

 

XXX

 

The next day, Mick went downstairs to check out while Beth finished getting ready to leave. It had taken her awhile to finish the huge breakfast Mick ordered for her and insisted she eat. Steak in the morning wasn't her usual routine, it was more like coffee and a bagel – when she was eating at all, that is. Thankfully her usual nausea was absent this morning though.

As she left the room and headed down in the elevator, Beth couldn't seem to keep the grin off her face no matter how hard she tried. Wasn't there a saying about that, something like, "Grin, people will wonder what you're up to?" Not that they'd guess in a million years. Well, not unless they saw her without her turtleneck, that is… When she arrived in the lobby Mick was just turning away from the desk.

"Hey."

"Hey." They stood grinning at each other as if they hadn't seen each other in days instead of fifteen minutes. She noticed he was holding something behind his back just as he pulled it out.

"I think you've earned this," Mick said, placing the fedora on her head.

Arm in arm they walked from the hotel. "Am I Bogey now?" she asked, grinning.

Mick snorted. "Did I ever tell you I had a thing for Lauren Bacall?"

"You know how to whistle, don't you?" she quoted. "You just put your lips together and… blow."

Mick threw his head back and laughed. "I'm impressed. Even if you don't know who Nick and Nora are."

"Did I ever tell you I have a thing for private eyes?" Beth said.

 

XXX

 

Beth sat in the doctor's office, tapping her foot impatiently, and waiting for the results of her tests. She'd never understand why they couldn't just tell you over the phone, instead of making you wait. She tried to quell the butterflies in her stomach, and tell herself she was ready for whatever the news was.

Dr. Gerard finally came in, file in hand. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Beth."

"No problem, doctor. I have to admit though, I'm anxious to get the results."

"Understandable." He opened the file and looked it over a moment. "I have all your results here, and the reason you've been experiencing stomach pain and nausea is because you've developed an ulcer. Have you been under any unusual stress the last, oh, several months?"

Unusual stress? Ulcer?

_Let's see: last few months… Meet gorgeous PI and feel instant connection. Almost killed by serial murderer. Nightmares about my childhood abduction. Kill a man to save gorgeous PI's life. Find out vampires exist and GPI is one. Save vampire's life in desert by letting him feed on me. Meet other vampires, including feral ones. Strain with boyfriend. Get high off vampire drug. GPI's supposed dead ex-wife returns. Learn I'm half vampire. Learn father isn't dead, is vampire. Learn ex-wife is the one who kidnapped me. Learn GPI is my guardian angel who saved me. Sleep with GPI. Start hearing voices. Listen to the Voices. Confront and murder GPI's ex wife. Break up with boyfriend. Get engaged to GPI. Pregnancy scare. Did I miss anything?_

Beth stared at the doctor for a moment, and then burst out in relieved and amused laughter. "You have no idea!" she told him emphatically.

As the doctor droned on about medication and lifestyle modifications, Beth contemplated her conflicting feelings, genuine relief, and the knowledge that the issue wasn't going away, just postponed.

 

XXX

 

At the same time Beth was at the doctors, Mick had an appointment of his own. He sat in the chair across from Rev. Autun, hands clasped together, trying to hide his own nervousness.

"How's Daniel doing?" he asked.

Autun smiled. "He's doing very well, thank you. We've had a lot of long talks. And I know I have you and Beth to thank for laying a lot of the ground work in Newark. Considering what he's been wrestling with… it's just another wonderful example of the Lord working in mysterious ways."

"Lot of that going around lately," Mick noted.

"What do I owe you?" Robert asked him, pulling out his check book from the desk drawer.

Mick smiled slightly. "Just put in a good word for me with Jesus, and we'll call it even."

"You're a good man. He knows that, He knows all." Mick glanced away at the words. "I sense there's something else you'd like to talk about," Robert ventured.

Mick took a breath. "Do you think turning someone into a vampire is a sin?"

"Ah, the question. Is it a sin? God's word in the bible doesn't directly address that issue, so we have to struggle with it on our own. It's not surprising a married couple would want to be together forever." As usual, the ever-perceptive Autun understood what was behind the question.

"But is it wrong?"

Robert came around the desk and sat in the chair next to Mick. He put his hand on Mick's shoulder. "I'm sorry I can't make other people's moral decisions for them. Only God can do that, when we have a personal relationship with Him. We do what feels right in here," he touched Mick's chest.

"And how do I know if it's right or just what I selfishly want?"

Autun gave another of his trademark smiles. "Ah – there's a question that has burdened Christians since the beginning of time!"

"What if… a voice told you? Could that be the voice of God?" He asked, thinking of Beth's "voice".

"Possibly," Autun conceded. "But if it says something like kill your whole family, it's not from God."

"I get that, but does it sometimes tell you to do things that seem…not right to you?"

"Do you mean feel not right, or seem not right intellectually?"

Mick thought about that for a moment. "Intellectually," he answered.

"Our intellect comes from our ego. And that's about as far from God as we can get. I'm sure you've had this experience in your life: you see a perfect chance at something, a business deal, a relationship, maybe a job, whatever. Your brain says it's a great opportunity, can't pass it up. While your heart is saying no in no uncertain terms. But you listen to the brain, because it's supposed to be the voice of reason, the smart one. It turns out to be a huge mistake. Because we didn't listen to that still small voice within. The brain is where our ego lives; the heart is where Jesus lives. Does that help any?"

"Not sure," Mick admitted.

"Have you ever read the bible, Mick?"

"Uh, about seventy years ago," he admitted with a grin.

"It's pretty clear that marriage is to be considered sacred. Till death do us part. And as we know, vampires aren't really immortal. They don't live forever, just a very long time. Maybe God decides when they are called home, too. And decides who becomes one. What does your heart tell you, Mick?"

"That we're supposed to be together," he answered.

"Then you have your answer, don't you? See how easy that was?"

Mick had to laugh. "If you say so. Um, there is one other thing. Beth and I want to ask you if you'd perform our wedding."

"I'd be honored to officiate the ceremony. I haven't known the two of you for long, but it doesn't take long to see how devoted you are to each other, how much in love. And remember one thing: love is the most important thing."

Love is all you need.

 

_"Remember what John said."_

_"The apostle?"_

_"No, the Beatle. All you need is love."_

\--Michael

 

finis.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The flea bag hotel and other specific places are made up. Newark, Penn, and Hilton DO exist. "Beautiful Downtown Newark" is definitely an inside joke, btw. ;-) Also note I know nothing about gangs just what I see on TV. Fedora: hat made popular in the old b&w detective/film noir movies. Whistle quote is Lauren Bacall from "To Have and To Have Not. 1944. And finally, yes, I know his name is apparently spelled Rider now, but I like it with the Y better and it's my universe.


End file.
